Thursday, July 23, 2009

Darling That Dress is a Masterpiece

Whoever this lady was, she impressed the spats off Cole Porter:
. . . You're the top!
You're Mahatma Gandhi.
You're the top!
You're Napoleon Brandy.
You're the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain,
You're the National Gallery . . .

But you too could have an ultrasophisticated homosexual writing timeless songs about you--if you strive to be a one-woman National Gallery. This is actually easier than it sounds. All it takes is a few clicks of your mouse (and a couple zeros knocked off your Paypal account . . . )

Check out these tours de force currently up for grabs on eBay:

A Mondrian dress--not the classic issued by Yves Saint Laurent in 1965, but a very cute knockoff, and all but the most clued-in fashionista won't know the difference anyway.

A gorgeous silk jersey Van Gogh print by Goldworm. If you've never heard of him, remember the name (how hard is that?) because he's a stealth designer of the first rank. One of the maestros of slinky, sexy, late 60s jersey dresses (see also Pucci, Paganne) that don't look like much on the hanger (or here on the mannequin) but indeed become bombshell casings when on an actual body. With this one you get the added poignancy of Van Gogh's tortured genius. A lot going on in one dress.

But is it anything compared to the very creation of man? I love this homage to Michelangelo, mostly because to see it you have to tilt your head in an entirely different uncomfortable angle as you do when you look at the actual Sistine Ceiling.

And last but not least, an actual museum-quality work: a paper dress by Warhol [the Souper Dress!] embellished with cans of you-know-what. If I had a spare thou I would buy this beauty and frame it . . . actually wearing it to anything but the Met Costume Ball would seem a flagrant act of cultural vandalism. Oooooh how I wish I had a spare thou.

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