Thursday, November 19, 2009

O Woeful and Repugnant: Ugly Christmas Sweaters, Part 2

A well that doesn't run dry . . . more of the very ugliest holiday sweaters, courtesy of your local eBay sellers. Most of the exemplars below have already sold . . . but you will surely be able to find their like--or worse!--if you click on the links and then view the vendors' other items. See Part I here.

Below, a jumper that illustrates the hair's breadth between the naff-but-not-bad and misbegotten. Because this one, at first glance, is truly not bad. The colors, although plentiful and primary, are of the same value and sit in balance, much as those in a rainbow do. The design is crisp and pleasing. The 3D dinkleballs on the tree are cute and do not overwhelm.

So why why why are those skijumpers positioned so as to crash smack into each other, and then down onto the tree, dashing the dinkleballs and ruining xmas for everyone? People, we must think it through.

Next up, this less problematic--because conspicuously awful--Scottie xmas sweater. Which brings to mind another question. How come Scotties are always depicted as adorable and smiley on sweaters and such, while in the real world are surly and can't be bothered?

Before we move on, do take note of the model's good cheer. THIS is the way to wear an awful xmas sweater. And if it takes a righteous full cup of Bailey's best Irish Cream to get there, ya do what ya gotta do.

This next one's interesting because it's dreadful, of course, but also because it's really scary. Don't you just want to grab the lady skater by the arm and say "No! Don't skate up the river of ice to the house with that guy. DO NOT GO INTO THAT HOUSE!"

And last, but by no means least, this beauty, hand knit, no less. Recessionary cutbacks may have hit the North Pole, but it's comforting to know that Santa is still a go on the night.

(many many thanks to the sellers for gamely sending these pictures . . . readers if you like what you see, do click the links to see their other offerings . . . )


  1. Oo-er Christa - I hope by scotties you meant the dogs depicted on the sweater (actually Highland terriers I believe)and not people of Scottish origin? My OH is a Scot and hates all nasty little ankle biters except possibly Jack Russells but that is another story. In my extensive experience of living with a Scotsman, you are sadly correct in attributing dour characteristics to them. On a lighter note my OH loves mad cardigans and sweaters. More Norwegian style than Christmas - but so supremely ugly that even his beloved children can't stop joking about them.

  2. These are hilarious and so are you! I'm certain we all have one of these christmas sweaters looming in our past, present and most likely our future!

    Cheers to the full cup of Bailey's :-), we may need it.

  3. I cannot wait for our 2009 ugly Christmas Sweater party in 3 weeks!

  4. As the christmas is knocking at the door everyone must be waiting for the party to begin. The costume which is show here in this blog for the ugly sweater party looks perfect for the party. I haven't been in ugly Christmas Sweater party and this time i am planning to attend the party as i want to feel the taste. Thanks for the ugly Christmas Sweater party costume display in this blog.

  5. "do not go into that house!" LMAO

  6. Tacky holiday sweaters is a national past time, and should be cherished. LOL. Just don't cherish them in public.

  7. Anyone know where you can buy some of these ? I think everyones had the same idea this year and I'm struggling to find something both awful and a bit different ? Thanks :o)

  8. That sweater really cool and good for Christmas season.

  9. where in Toronto do we find these 'knitted sweaters'?