Charity Shops, Down and Dirty

Was royally entertained by last night's second episode of Mary Queen of Charity Shops--in which retail guru Mary Portas takes on the herculean task of bringing a traditional British charity shop/thrift store some leagues closer to the merchandising cutting edge.

Having some experience in this sort of thing, I found it to be all that and more. The real stars of the show are the volunteers, mostly ladies of distinguished age who just don't get the point of spending on new flooring and maverick pegboard-and-elastic- band display fittings when the mouldy old fixtures had a mere 20 years of service and are surely good for another twenty more.

My favourite quote: when one volunteer objects to an orange display unit as "too bright", especially when holding a pink handbag, an exasperated Mary loses it and counters with: "FANTASTIC! Look at the colors that Saint Laurent uses! Pink, orange, turquoise . . . the luxury houses of Paris, yet it doesn't fit in Orpington!!"

Which Orpington will no doubt NEVER forget . . . this is reality programming at its best: well-intentioned people who are deservedly proprietary about their turf and experience ramming into each other head on. Go Mary! Go old-age-pensioners! May the stubbornest woman win (it will be close)!

And if you love thrift stores/charity shops like I do, go immediately to the link above. The lovely BBC is streaming entire episodes online.

Queen of Shops Takes On Benighted Charity Stores

Have just learned that Mary Portas, the UK's "Queen of Shops" -- expert on the stocking, merchandising, and selling of fashion, from haute to High Street -- will be presenting a show on refurbishing Britain's charity shops to make them more enticing to those not otherwise disposed to drop in. Non-UK readers, you have no idea what you'll be missing. This encounter will pit combatants formidably armed with opposing worldviews: an ultramodern Mary Poppins of retailing whose no-nonsense, plain-spoken approach to her trade will run right up against a pocket of the land where the ideals of wartime austerity, genteel shabbiness, chipper amateurism, reticence to offend, and, above all, thrift still hold true.

This is, of course, a subject near and dear to my heart, and I'll be fascinated to see how she takes on the issues. The obstacles in refurbishing these places are legendary: no budget for fixtures, a motley and unpredictable flow of stock that given people's closet-clearing habits tends to buck the seasons, sales staff that is volunteer and possibly not disposed to interacting with customers, leaky ceilings, balky steamers, the list goes on and on and on.

But amazing treasures lie within, and that is the gold she can spin . . . with Portas's fantastic energy, enthusiasm, and superb eye (met her at a party last year wearing Nine West's faux snakeskin glad sandals, ran out and bought them the next day, and they're still dead on style for this season . . . ) she will electrify the shops that she visits . . . it will be so interesting to see if she can help them stay lit.