Bass Ackwards

This just in from Wallpaper magazine, from their roundup of the worst designs of last year. The chairs, say their designer, were inspired by Adam and Eve, before the fig leaf became the original Fall must-have.

I wouldn't want them in my living room but . . . . wouldn't it be great if some ballsy designer used them as seating for his front row . . .

Heads Up!

So excited. My antique dolly head arrived from North Dakota yesterday. What's a dolly head? A skull-shaped support used in hatmaking. Being made of wood, it is much less likely to complain about stitching and steaming than a human model would.

I won't be making hats anytime soon but want to learn how to restore them--especially non-critical cases in which they've lost their shape due to poor storage. I have a wonderful Schiaparelli cloche in just such a state, and will be blogging on its restoration shortly.

In the meantime, here's what a dolly head looks like in situ, in a shot from the forthcoming film biography of Coco Chanel. (doesn't Audrey Tatou look great!).

 

Real Men Don't Wear Knickers

It may be apparent from occasional oddities of spelling or expression that I'm writing this blog in two different languages--American and British English. I was born in the USA, but have lived in London for so long now that my writing has started to go native. All the same, key differences in vocabulary still cause occasional stumbles. 

Example: I was off to see a client after my son's violin lesson. I mentioned to his teacher, a plain-speaking Englishwoman, that I did closet consultation. Her reply: "what, does that involve toilets or something?" 

Other examples of British/American fashion terms separated by a common language:

Pants. In British English, these are strictly men's underpants. Also, a term of derision: "Mate, the Madonna concert was pants."

Vest. In British English, this is a sleeveless top, usually worn as underwear.

Waistcoat. Pronounced--insanely--"weskit," this is what Americans call a vest.

Pumps. These are American sneakers, more like Keds than Pumas.

Court shoes. What Yanks call pumps.

Tights. What Americans call pantihose.

Stockings. What Americans call tights.

Pop socks. In American English, knee-highs. The entire hosiery department is a minefield, I tell you.

Swimming costume ("cozzie"). This, in American, is bathing suit. If "swimming costume" sounds strange to you, take a moment to think about "bathing suit" and how weirdly Victorian that one is. 

Purse. For a Brit, this is a mere wallet, not a full-blown handbag, capacious enough to carry an Olsen twin.

Fanny. The British word for a lady's Lady Region. Why Brits crack up when tourists refer to their "fanny pack."

Mac. Neither a burger nor a computer, this is a (oft-needed) raincoat.

Blouse: In Brit, this means an exceedlingly froufrou blouse. Otherwise it's a shirt. A "big girl's blouse" is a man who is notably wimpy.

If anyone could explain this last one to me I will provide an hour of toilet consultation free of charge.

Rosamond Bernier, Fashion Icon

I had the privilege of hearing this great editor (for Vogue, in Paris), publisher (of L'OEIL, a fabled review of the arts), and finally lecturer (for the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York) in the late '80s. No matter what her subject, she was effervescent and marvelously informed. And more to the point, dressed to hilt in a designer gown and jewelry that was not so much statement as exclamation.

Here she is in a brief excerpt from her last lecture at the Met, dropping names like there's no tomorrow, but what names! Carmel Snow, Oscar de la Renta, Fernand Leger, Balenciaga . . . plus a bonus tip on how to get haute couture at a bargain price.

The lesson for us mortals? I'm convinced her necklace is a two-parter; the triple strand of pearls with a huge brooch pinned on, to add that extra bit of oomph Bernier loved. If, like me, you can't get enough of her, also have a look at her YouTube video for Yoox, the online fashion retailer, in which she gives a masterclass in more subtle accessorizing.

Note the chiffon scarf softly looped at the neck, toned in to match the jacket, and the two brooches just south of her left shoulder . . . 

How to Wear It: Antique Brooch, II

Whoops! Maybe not exactly like that. But I love the idea of wearing a glittery brooch at the waistline, as Brooke Shields does with a bit more decorum below:

Why I love eBay, Part 1

As I told my husband just the other day, I can run like a rat through eBay, keywording into all sorts of nooks and crannies in pursuit of beautiful fashion relics. Just as in a charity shop, it's necessary to get past binloads of lackluster merchandise before discovering anything truly worthwhile. Over the years I've become inured and whip past the rubbish without a backward glance.

But every so often appears an item so ill-favored it gives me pause. Today's example: the vintage pair of junior lederhosen, "lovingly worn."

I'm of German descent and so am familiar with this type of suspendered leather shorts--my poor brother was forced to wear them on a few occasions when my parents were going through a heritage phase. His were new. Why on earth anyone would bid on a pair of dirty, stiff, beat-to-death ones (as the seller helpfully points out, "as evidenced by the butt patch") is beyond me. But curiosity has gotten the better of me. I am indeed watching it now.

Stealth Brands: Launer

What is a stealth brand? One that has a fantastic pedigree in terms of history, quality, tradition--but doesn't trumpet itself through massive advertising campaigns. In recent years, many of these fashion stalwarts have been drawn into mega-luxury folds and repurposed into hip names (most dramatically, Lanvin). A fine few, however, remain in the shadows.

One great British example is Launer. Unknown or summarily dismissed by many fashion insiders, it holds the royal warrant for small leather goods -- in other words, it's Queen Elizabeth's go-to purveyor of handbags and wallets. Admittedly these are not It Bags in size or silhouette, but their craftsmanship is unimpeachable. In 1991, the Queen spent what must have been an atypically AbFab afternoon at the company's factory in Birmingham, meeting the people who assemble the items and learning more about the company history (it was founded by a Czech immigrant over 60 years ago, and has manufactured for such stellar names as Mappin & Webb and Asprey before establishing itself as an independent brand).

The point: stealth brands show up with some frequency in the secondhand market and are invariably undervalued. This Launer purse recently came up for auction on eBay and I got it for $6 (they retail new for £135/$196).

It looked a bit banged up in the scan, but fine leather can usually be restored to good condition. A bit of neutral Kiwi shoe polish (the real kind, in the metal can), some diligent buffing, and presto. A beautiful wallet I'm so happy to carry--and handle. Good leather, with a bit of life on it, has such a lovely velvety feel in the hand. More on stealth brands to come.